Getting rid of Mugabe ....

On my monthly jaunt to Edendale hospital this week .... I met some rather lovely Zimbabwean doctors .... and as one story led to another ... I mentioned my tale of trying to seduce Mugabe's personal physician to bump him off quietly ... and we spent the rest of the evening wondering about the various ways that Zim might be able to rid itself of its national-saviour-gone bad .....

On the eve of Zim's last election (2005) - the very brave Bishop of Bulawayo (Pius Ncube) admitted he'd prayed hard for the death of Mugabe in order to end the suffering of Zimbabweans .... not what you'd expect from a man of the cloth (just imagine the Archbishop of Canterbury wishing ill-fate on Tony Blair) .... but clearly God wasn't in the mood to listen then or now ..... since sadly the 83 year old looks in truly rude health (unlike the rest of his countrymen who can only expect to live to ripe age of 38) .... and capable certainly of fighting the next "election" .....

Succession seems unlikely since he hasn't actually even chosen a successor within the Zanu PF party - but in all likelihood - anyone else who heads Zim with his blessing won't be anymore than a grotesque puppet (he was apparently thinking of installing an ex-girlfriend as the next leader - a woman with the rather charming nom de guerre of Spill Blood) ....

People power sadly is also unlikely to dislodge him .... only a few of these African "Big Men" leaders have ever gone willing or peacefully .... true democratic handovers of power remain rare here ..... and military coups are seemingly the traditional african method of succession .... associated with the prerequisite bloodletting and ensuing civil wars, tribalism and rebel conflicts ..... which also (thankfully) is probably not going to be the case for for Zim (the security system is too tightly controlled by Zanu PF .... and Mugabe has definitely been adept at greasing the right palms within the country) ....

All our opinions that night agreed on one point - that we were all keeping our fingers (nay all appendages) crossed .... that South Africa would finally abandon its position of quiet diplomacy and general lap-dog-ness to leverage its influence on Mugabe ....... and that this would only be possible if the tide of public opinion here started to turn ....

Only three months before the last Zim election - the New African magazine ran a poll of the 100 greatest Africans of all time .... rather predictably - Nelson Mandela came top and Kwame Nkrumah came second .... but horrifically Robert Mugabe romped home in third place .... ahead lets be clear of Desmond Tutu, Sam Nujoma (Namibia), Wole Soyinka, Joaquim Chissano or Samora Machel (Mozambique), King Shaka and so on ... it would be laughable if it wasn't so tragic ....

Thankfully - two years or so on .... the veil of Mugabe as the Pan-African Hero has been dropped .... perhaps his abuses of human rights regardless of skin-colour have started to destroy his image as anti-imperialist warrior against the anglo-american conspiracy to keep the black man down .... or perhaps Zimbabweans have learnt that they mustn't die silently like the Darfurians and instead leaders like Tsvingirai have started to use media better ..... for somehow the stance of Mbeki is now being openly derided .... and other African leaders such as Ghana's John Kufour or Zambia's Patrick Mwanawasa have started to question the continent's silence ....

As Zimbabweans flood into South Africa .... and as the crisis in Zim starts to damage South Africa socially, politically and economically .... the general man on the south african street is finally starting to question both his own national leadership and the leadership of the seeming paradigm revolution against the white man ....

Everyone here is talking about Zim .... and for once - open criticism is being voiced without a fear of being labelled a traitor to the black cause .... it is quite a monumental change ..... it could be the legacy that Mbeki is so desperately seeking before the end of his term in office .... and the incomparable Desmond Tutu perhaps said it best .....

We Africans should hang our heads in shame ..... How can what is happening in Zimbabwe elicit hardly a word of concern, let alone condemnation from us leaders of Africa?