P.M.T.C.T

Perhaps i got a little ahead of myself on the whole Malawi post earlier .... and perhaps should explain how it is i'm here in Africa again and not in London as i'm supposed to be ....

Some of you know that since I really didn't know what I wanted to do when I got back to London after/despite almost 4 years away .... I typically tried to keep all my options open (yes - my legendary commitment phobia still looms large) .... and so rather predictably I seem to now run around like a headless ninja .... gadding between the NHS, the London School of Tropical Medicine and attempting to do some consultancy work for NGOs on the side (the busy-ness of all this means that I can be smug about not having time to narrow my options down and make a decision) ....

Through the consultancy work - a friend/colleague and I were asked to look at the issue of mothers transmitting HIV to their babies (i.e. mother to child transmission - MTCT) which can occur during pregnancy, at birth and through breastfeeding .... and then tasked with developing a strategy for the NGO to scale up services in a yet-to-be-determined African country to prevent it (hence PMTCT).

The background tragedy is that there are now hugely effective ways to do stop this transmission happening ... and frankly we barely see kids born with hiv here in the west anymore .... but despite the science and treatment being known, tried and tested .... less than 15% of women who need it most actually have access to this treatment .... leading to hundreds of thousands of babies born unnecessarily exposed and infected ..... so that today over 90% of all children infected with HIV were infected by their mothers ....

And so C and I have travelled to Zambia and Malawi for a couple of weeks to look at how these two countries are addressing the problem given their high rates of HIV infection and to see why a prevention issue that seems to be such a no-brainer on the face of it (much easier than abstinence or condoms .... plus its all about babies .... great pics for development pornographers .... etc etc) has seemingly been languishing as the cinderella programme of the HIV world ....

In with the new

Apologies for the title change .... but i'm having a moving-on moment. Long story but hopefully you'll stick with me.

In the perfect moment .....

Occasionally .... you happen upon a moment that is just perfect to be in ....

Tonight under a full Malawian moon .... my friend Colin and I hung out with some of the staff at the farm we're staying at on the outskirts of Lilongwe .... they took us down to the village to hear some young guys who've been trying to get a band together ..... and before you scoff - this wasn't the usual development pornography stuff of men in loin cloths banging drums .... more young guys dressed like bob marley yet dreaming of being the african jay-z .... as chickens scratched around us ....

Sprawled out in the warm balmy night around a log fire ... after several bottles of south african red wine (the joy!) ..... the guys serenaded us with a ludicrous but charming session of Beatles covers (malawians get Ls and Rs mixed up .... so you can imagine "Ret it be .... Ret it be") - clearly what they thought the mzungus (meaning white people .... since yes - despite being brown - here i am apparently white) would like ..... and then some serious afro-hip-hop (i've no idea if it was more talib kweli than snoop - but it sounded amazing - and maybe bitches and hos in chichewa just sounds a lot more poetic) .... and then totally kicked it with a string of amazing local acapella songs .... those uplifting african harmony type songs that make your soul soar skywards .... make you breathless with the feeling that somehow feel that anything is possible .... and that magic could actually be real ....

We're off tomorrow to see a super-rural health centre where over a third of all the young women are infected with HIV and dozens upon dozens of children die from malnutrition every year ...... and where we're hoping we can find a site to set up a programme to stop mums transmitting HIV to their babies ..... and so i'm closing my eyes now and hoping the magic will stretch there too ....

PS Morning After: I'm a little sheepish this morning (and frankly hungover) ... i just found out this morning at breakfast .... that Madonna stayed at this farm when she - er - adopted her baby here .... perhaps not quite the fearless NGO-warrior image i'm striving for .... but still .... Madonna and I share a hotel!

Turning Tides? South Africa finally steps up to the plate ....

Finally we can be proud in SA that we've done something right by Zimbabwe ....

Yesterday the An Yue Jiang, a Chinese ship carrying weaponry destined for Zimbabwe left Durban harbour with its cargo intact. SATAWU (a local trade union) refused to unload the arms ..... and then the SA courts ruled that the weapons, including mortars, rocket propelled grenades and ammunition for AK-47s, could not be transported across South Africa.

Typically of President Mbeki's smokescreen "soft" diplomacy which has just facilitated the continuation of Mugabe's barbaric regime .... the SA government's response was that since there was no AU or UN embargo on weapons sales to Zimbabwe - SA had no role in interfering in a deal between China and Zim ....

In contrast Helen Zille (head of the opposition party - the Democratic Alliance) was excoriating in blasting the ANC's apathy on the issue and the potential consequences of allowing the cargo to be transported to a country already on the verge of implosion with a real risk of mass violence over election reruns .... accusing Mbeki of being complicit in state-sponsored terror of genocidal proportions .... and reminding people that it was a consignment of Chinese machetes that prefaced the killing of 800 000 people in Rwanda in 1994 ....

The ship is now on its way to Mozambique and the port of Beira .... one of the 15 poorest countries in the world and recipient of much Chinese "strings-free aid" to Africa (essentially building infrastructure - albeit with only Chinese contractors - in return for the countries signing over great swathes of mineral and natural resource rich land whilst turning a blind eye to graft and to whose pocket the money slips into .... )

Lets hope the next wave of Olympic torch protests are not just about Tibet .... but also about Darfur and Burma and Zimbabwe ..... and the list goes on ....

Support Dileepan

A friend and truly inspirational guy has been illegally detained in Zimbabwe .... he works for a non-partisan, non-profit NGO the National Democracy Institute .... and has been working in the region for years helping support parties in democratic elections .... please do visit his site to show your support if you can ... http://dileepan.typepad.com/

10 days to war

To commemorate the 5th anniversary of the Iraq war - the bbc have made a great set of shorts entitled 10 days to war ..... partly thriller partly documentary partly entertainment .... they tell some of the untold stories and mistakes that have only been revealed since .... a sort of visual Imperial Life in the Emerald City .... the little films are moving, intelligent and shocking .... do watch. Its the sort of telly that makes you glad you pay your license fee.

In vino veritas .... but also in Woodford, and Oban and Tanqueray ...

Those of you who know me well ... will know that part of my love for the countries I've lived in or visited .... is manifest in my enduring love for all the forms of alcohol of the region ... obviously south african wine, aussie wine .... english gin .... american bourbon ... peruvian pisco ... single malt scotch ... brazilian cachaca ... cuban rum ... sake .... etc etc etc .... the fact that my friend Lisa could make enough of a video of me drinking to the entire Bare Naked Ladies song (Alcohol ...) as a birthday present is testament to me ... and a little worrying ...

Anyhow - now I'm back in London and trying to be a grown-up ... i've been seeking advice from mates as to how to cut back a little .... one friend Matt has stopped drinking from Monday to Wednesday - but could be left miserable if something big came up early in the week .... Nicole only drinks before Thursday in the week if she is abroad (which she almost always is ... so frankly she's just cheating) .... my mate Saskia is more flexible - at least three days a week of no drinking, two days of moderate and two days heavy (and she taught me to drink ....) ... but then I know i'd find myself engaging in a complicated log-book scenario of carrying days over and using up days in advance ....

I'm weighing up options of a system that someone actually uses honestly ..... all suggestions gratefully received ....

African Swansongs ...

What is it with hated global leaders making their final victory laps in Africa?

Tony Blair practically reviled at home and most of the rest of the world by the end of his time in office .... was greeted rapturously in Sierra Leone and ... er... Libya .... in part at least for Britain's part in ending the bloody conflict in West Africa .... and for championing the (largely inconsequential) Commission for Africa ....

And now its the turn of George Bush .... possibly the most disastrous president in recent history ... to many a walking crime against humanity ... whose vast catalogue of terrible programmes and heinous decisions has perhaps just one redeeming highpoint - namely PEPFAR (and to a lesser degree his Malaria initiative) ....

Now I've raged against PEPFAR a few times on this blog ..... and there are many issues on which I vociferously disagree with it and think its been a pernicious influence on the fight against AIDS ... however ... quite aside from the fact that it paid my salary for over 2 years .... there's no denying that (at least the treatment-allocated) money has reached down to the poorest of the poor (very unusual for aid money) .... and amazingly is actually doing what its supposed to be doing - both vertically and horizontally strengthening health systems in the recipient countries ...

A personal hero of mine - South African Dr Francois Venter (head of the HIV Clinicians Society in SA .... and all-round firebrand) sums up what I think most of us feel ......

"I look at all the blood this man has on his hands in Iraq and I can't quite believe myself but I would say it's a bold experiment from the last people in the world I would expect to do it, and it is saving a lot of lives. To intervene on such a scale and make such a difference is huge,"

And it is true that this is a remarkable achievement by a man who inherited the dubious legacy of President Clinton in Africa (the debacle of Somalia, the unforgivable blunders over Rwanda, the embassy bombings in Kenya/Tanzania etc) ... and who was once described by Nelson Mandela as a man "who can't think properly"....

But was it really enough? And was it what Africa needed?

PEPFAR is now widely acknowledged to have stemmed from Colin Powell and arose from a national security fears (also culminating in AfriCOM - the US African Command) ..... and its now its pretty clear that AIDS has not caused widespread political unrest nor failed states nor strengthened terrorism ....

In addition PEPFAR was heavily championed by evangelical movements in the US ... a sort of modern-day missionary-ising of Africa "saving the poor black people from themselves" .... but who are now (thankfully) seeing their leverage slip away and their global purge on sex in tatters ....

PEPFAR hasn't democratised .... it hasn't stabilised .... it was definitely conceived of in US national interests ... but extraordinarily it has genuinely helped some people in need and it has given them a precious few more years of life ... with a hope that more will come ... and it has undeniably set the pitch for the future of HIV treatment having to be made available and rolled out in the developing world as well as the developed ....

So as for what is next on the America-Africa agenda? Well we'll just have to wait for what President Obama thinks ....

No More Mandelas ...

Fantastic Panorama documentary this week - charting 25 years of South African history .... and ripping to shreds any pretences that this is not a country in deep deep strife and despair ..... Fergal Keane challenges the international community's myopic assumptions about South African post-apartheid stability .... but also doesn't hesitate to point the finger squarely at the corrupt fatness and almost junta-ness of the ANC .....

Friends who have recently returned from SA and those who live there report of a country in black depression .... power cuts (cape town recently spent a full 8 hours without power ... the whole city!), water shortages (even the fancy suburb of sandton in jozi went 2 days without water recently) .... spiralling crime .... only serve to highlight a society losing control ....

Mbeki's plain failures to show any decency on the issues of AIDS or Zimbabwe led even White/Indian/Non-Zulu South Africans to not feel too desolate about Zuma's election as head of the ANC (not too desolate in itself not exactly being a resounding endorsement) .... but further corruption charges against Zuma .... the arrest of the Chief of Police Jackie Selebi on criminal charges and associations with mobsters .... and the revival of the political fortunes of Winnie Mandela (a convicted kidnapper and fraudster behind some of the more abhorrent violence in the township riots of the late 80s including the infamous necklacing) ..... give the impression that the country is on a precipice .... a national breath-holding moment until its safe to exhale ... or scream ....


I love South Africa with a passion that I never thought I'd feel for another nation ..... and i hope with all my heart that the vibrant civil society structures that led to the demonstrations for HIV rights and gay rights in the country .... the journalists that braved to tell the world about apartheid .... and the priceless heroes such as Archbishop Tutu and Mandela will ensure that the current rot does not seep too deep .....

But at the same recent ANC conference that Zuma was elected at in December - the same delegates voted to disband the Scorpions - the elite anti-corruption squad that has been investigating Zuma and Selebi etc ..... and there have been dire warnings of violence if Zuma is found guilty alongside a resurgence of Zulu pride and tribalism (and we know where that got Kenya, Rwanda, Congo etc etc) .....

Do watch the programme if you can online .... and i'll leave you with this from Alan Paton:

Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child that is the inheritor of our fear.
Let him not love the earth too deeply.
Let him not laugh too gladly when the water runs through his fingers, nor stand too silent when the setting sun makes red the veld with fire.
Let him not be too moved when the birds of his land are singing, nor give too much of his heart to a mountain or a valley.
For fear will rob him of all if he gives too much.
Cry, The Beloved Country, Chapter 12

The new lion king?!

Simba Makoni ..... an ex- Zanu PF cabinet minister government has formally announced his intention to stand against Robert Mugabe .... a happy happy day ....

Despite increasing disquiet in the country - it's still been an incredibly brave move to publicly challenge Mugabe from within his own system .... and predictably he has immediately been discommunicated from the Zanu-PF party .... and already threats such as “Traitors know how Zanu-PF deals with sellouts..." from Mugabe's "war veteran" rabble have spewed forth ...

However in reality - the continuing failure of the MDC to actually capture popular imagination or stop its in-fighting and the grimly worsening daily-life situation (a Dr friend from Harare writes of dipping into his final stocks of tinned food and crippling electricity shortages now that Zambia and South Africa won't supply Zim due to unpaid bills running into the millions .... thats US dollars ... am not sure there are words for what the amount would be in Zim dollars) .... mean that Makoni throwing his hat into the ring is the most positive development in Zim politics for a long while .... despite some of his more shadowy backers ....

Makoni claims to have widespread support from political players across the divide: “I know I will not be in this campaign alone. There will be many of us, a great many of us.”

With contrasts like this - lets hope we hear him roar soon ....

Salisbury (Harare) 1981
Harare 2007


Please note ... before i get any cross emails - I'm not in any way advocating that Salisbury 1981 was a better place .... just lamenting that Africa's bread basket with the most diversified economy and educated population has now slipped to a situation where the average life expectancy is 37.

Presidential Idols a.k.a Addicted to America

This US primary soap-opera has just been Ridiculous .... both in the good way ridiculous (is that ridonculous? christ i'm old) and in the bad way .... I find myself checking the Huffington Post (thanks Peter for the introduction) at least six times a day .... endlessly reading bloggers on the minutiae of every turn, gesture and intonation .... researching details of each of the candidates lives, previous votes etc .... scouring every outlet from the New Yorker (typically great piece by Herdrick Hertzberg today) to the Colbert Report and Jon Stewart's Daily Show (who frankly I declare my undying love for and would throw my knickers at in an instant)

And of course its not just me ... every party I go to in London its the first topic of conversation .... friends in Delhi, Cape Town, Lagos etc are all addicted, all galvanised by the idea that Barack could get elected .... and in truth that seems to be the crux of it for all of us internationally .... I don't think the rest of the world would be nearly so engaged if it was just Hillary against some other white man .... but the thought of America choosing a black president is just electrifying ....

I asked a New Yorker mate of mine who does fancy himself as a bit of a politico if he thought Americans realised what monumental interest had been generated internationally for these elections and what it would say about America to all of us if Obama was elected to office as essentially what is the President of the World .... rather depressingly - he replied that the issue was not whether they knew - but the fact that even Americans did know - they wouldn't care .... that put me and the rest of the world in our place then.

And then I realised that despite the news-whore I am (and my smug euro-superiority over "ignorant" yanks) .... I didn't even know my own Foreign minister's name ....

And yes - for those of you who know me .... I am deeply troubled by this sudden love for things American too .... I find myself now back in London actively seeking out yanks and trying to accrue a collection for myself to hang out with (perhaps foreign yanks are a different breed to those who stay at home?) .... i get all sentimental and yearning whenever I hear the accent .... and I even find myself defending them against (other) smug superior euros ..... perhaps its like a mild version of Stockholm syndrome (as in the James Bond movie - the World is Not Enough) .... where you develop some deep love for your ex-torturer .... now if only we could get the Iraqis to catch the same disease ....

Heart of Darkness indeed ....

I hear you groan loudly at the cliche ... i know i know ... pretty much as bad as "out of africa" ..... but truly this piece from the Guardian today makes you realise why things haven't changed that much in Congo since Joseph Conrad ....

The IRC apparently have estimated that an extra 45,000 people are continuing to die each month in the country .... repeat - an extra - so that's over and above whatever horrendous death rate would be expected in a central african country .... and that's despite the civil war having supposedly ended in 2002 .... horrifically pretty much half of those deaths are children .... in a country where one in 5 children doesn't make it to their 5th birthday ....

I was in Goma in June (photos from the trip) ... and it was truly the most scary place i'd ever been .... just minutes across the border from Rwanda - and bang - the danger was palpable .... as though anything and everything nasty could happen and no one would ever know about it or find you afterwards ..... and of course - the poverty was devastating and universal ..... resulting in the most pronounced survival instinct i'd ever seen (by which i mean a general MO to fleece anyone and everyone especially if they look a bleeding heart NGO-type liberal ... which the Congolese seem to be able to sniff out in seconds with expertise ... i clearly stood no chance at all) ....

So it's no surprise that most of these additional deaths are entirely preventable .... needless deaths related to pregnancy or early childhood problems, simple infections and wily old foes such as malaria ..... nothing for which there isn't cure or a remedy .... and which according to development people like Jeff Sachs could be reversed for say the cost of a month's war effort in iraq .... call me a a starry-eyed dreamer ... but just imagine if things like this were raised in some of the democratic debates instead of bill clinton's dancing abilities ..... that would be real change ....

Heartbreak in Kenya

I have just watched the loveliest tv programme this evening that had me in tears .... Elephant Diaries on the beeb follows the stories of the orphaned baby elephants at the David Sheldrick sanctuary in Nairobi .... orphaned baby elephants .... how can anyone even read those words and not well up ....

The programme was an emotional rollercoaster with a tiny wee blind baby being rescued (and then tragically dying ... leaving even the most hardened experienced keepers weeping) .... and most amazingly a game of elephant football for the boisterous group of teen-ellies to help them bond .....

It embodied everything that makes Kenya wonderful and glorious and gorgeous .... and made me cry even more as the news came on after .... with yet more reports from Eldoret and Kisumu amongst others of bodies, violence and more atrocities ....

Having had the pleasure of spending lots of time there - i love Kenya .... the people, the culture, the land .... i even (against all the odds) like Nairobi and Nairobi airport .... and to see this current crisis is truly heartbreaking.

I just hope that somehow the words of Wangari Mathai, 2004 Nobel Peace Laureate from Kenya are heeded ....

Let us stand up for each other, irrespective of our ethnic backgrounds and political persuasions. Injustice to one is injustice to all of us. If we, individually and collectively, are not the conscience of our country, then who is?

Mugabe wins yet again ....

Once more Robert Mugabe shows what a wily old political fox he is ... and yet again he wins the PR battle against the English .....

Mugabe (shown here with the President Bashir of Sudan .... no saint himself) is the only African leader subject to an EU travel ban (that in itself is interesting .... is Zim that much worse than say Somalia, DRC etc?) ... however the ban was overturned by Portugal in order to invite Zimbabwe to the landmark EU-Africa conference held this week in Lisbon ....

Immediately Gordon Brown declared that if Mugabe was going to attend then he would not (apparently to avoid any meeting between the two overshadowing the conference) .... and urged other European leaders to similarly boycott the summit ..... quoting David Milliband (our Foreign Secretary) "because of our distress at the tragedy unfolding in Zimbabwe, which affects people of all races, which we believe can be traced back directly to Robert Mugabe ..... it would be wrong for the UK Prime Minister - or other senior members of the British government - to stand by his side. This man's misrule has brought starvation to a country that was once the breadbasket of Africa".

No other European nation followed suit.

And instead - there were angry reprisals from several African nations. And of course Mugabe went and participated in the conference .... and Gordan lamely sent a proxy ....

When are our leaders going to work out that patronising stances are not its legitimate colonial right anymore? Yes Gordan is right to highlight that Mugabe is man who has brought his country to his knees .... but is he THAT much worse than say the leaders of Somalia, Sudan, Congo or Sierra Leone or Sudan etc etc .... this from a leader who recently welcome the King of Saudi Arabia to London and Chinese heads of state etc ....

Surely much more respect goes to Merkel ... who went ... and then took the opportunity to directly criticise without disengaging with the rest of Africa .....

With this sort of ex-colonial attitude .... its no wonder the Chinese are taking over Africa ....

Coming Home .....

Apparently i'm not the only returning back to native lands this month .... this is a really sweet story about 4 gorillas who were illegally gorilla-napped from Cameroon and taken to Malaysia .... somehow amazingly they didn't suffer the fate of most monkeys/apes that are sent out to the far east (very lucky indeed - i once went to a chimp sanctuary in kenya ... and it broke my heart what evilness is done to these poor animals)..... and even more luckily they were kept as a family and made it to Taiping Zoo ....

However three years ago - the endangered apes were semi-returned to Africa first journeying to Johannesburg ..... and now finally they've made it back to their home country .... where they were received by government ministers at the airport!

What really also amazes me is that the gorillas had to go via Nairobi ..... probably in part because South Africa really doesn't see itself as part of the rest of Africa - and so has no direct flights anywhere in the continent (barely) .... but any of you who have ever travelled through Africa will know that there are rules to flying here .... basically never check luggage if you can help it and especially never if you are transitting ..... (i learned my lesson once when i landed in Nairobi but my luggage didn't land with me - and so had to spend the first three days of my trip with no clothes or anything .... and instead had to resort to feeding people vats of whiskey to distract them from my increasingly filthy state) .... so it was very brave for the gorilla-movers to chance a stopover (i know i know - it would have been very hard to misplace 4 great apes .... but this is Africa ... and anything can happen) ....

Anyhow these poor gorillas after gallivanting around southern and eastern africa ..... are now settling in back at home (well - on a sanctuary at least) and getting their bearings back .... which is a lot like how i feel here in england .... especially the sanctuary part given i'm squatting at my friend sonia's .... almost like a rehabilitation camp to prepare my for my release back into the wilds of north london ....

Me and the monkeys .... rediscovering "home" .... and missing South Africa .....


(picture: me and chimp friend taking a sanctuary stroll)

Out of Africa ....

Life is a very odd thing.

I came to South Africa over two years ago really because i was chasing a romantic dream. Otherwise - i hadn't a clue what i was looking for .... i had no idea what i actually wanted to do ..... and i was desperate enough to accept the first decent job that came along from the week or so that i gave myself in Boston to find work in a hope to make some sort of career for myself .... and i didn't have the most auspicious start .... mugged at knifepoint on my first day .... it was just the fear of going home and admitting that i'd chickened out that made me stay .....

And so its funny that i'm finding leaving africa with far far scarier and unsettling and more of a step into the unknown than arriving here ..... it goes without saying that its been the most special incredible unbelievable experience .... horrific and disturbing in parts but mostly wonderful and without exception heartstopping .....and whilst the initial underlying reason i moved here hasn't sadly worked out .... i couldn't be more grateful that it inspired me to take the plunge, introduced me to a whole new world and way of thinking and spurred me to adventure ....

So naturally leaving has been difficult .... obviously - london can't ever really compare to one of the world's most beautiful cities with a mountain plop in the middle, beaches to go to after work .... and a different vineyard to visit every weekend and gourmet food at developing world prices .... safari and surf .... heaven and earth ..... and it was just the start of summer .... as i moved to england at the start of winter .... wristslitting ....

But of course - the real heartbreakers have been leaving a job that tangibly made a difference ..... work that really made me feel that i might just be fighting the good fight with purpose and that has definitely made me finally wake up to what i want to achieve in life .... and also leaving some of the bestest friends i will ever have to fortune to meet and that i thank my lucky stars i did (the best mugging ever!) .... that i can't even type about without getting all teary ... who saw me through some terrible lows and without question contributed to all of my highs .... and that i know i'll love forever and ever with all my heart .....


So now the leaving parties are over (thank you my gorgeous pedro and prawn for enduring a seemingly month-long continuous farewell) .... all my afro-trash bits and bobs have been packed and shipped .... and i'm sitting here in london ruefully shaking my umbrella and already missing South Africa truly madly deeply ..... so it seems the right time to start getting settled in ... and to change the name of the blog .....

Part 3: Eurgh posting gets tedious .... Nambia: the final chapter

I'm determined to finish this on principle ... even though the actual trip seems several millennia ago .... and heaps of important stuff has happened since that i really do want to write about as well .... and even i am sick of writing about this now .... and so in short ...

After the small-town scariness of Swakopmund and separating from peter at walvis bay .... C and I headed up the west coast ... through to Cape Cross .... allegedly the site where the portuguese explorers first landed on that part of the continent in 1485 .... but now home only to several thousand very smelly seals (and the ensuing seal-slaughtering industry) ..... a useful stop if just for petrol ....which (as an aside) is something that can't be emphasised enough for the long drives in namibia ..... petrol stations are few and far between .... and often (especially damning if you've driven miles out of your way to get there .... as we did) don't work when you do get there (as we were continually told by white namibians .... this had become increasingly common after the "change" ...... all rather nasty)

And then onwards to the swashbucklingly named Skeleton Coast ..... which welcomed us with gates adorned with a skull and crossbones and very large sunbleached bones ..... veritable gates of hell....

The local San Bushman call this area "The place God Made in Anger" ..... its an otherworldly sinister stretch of surf meets sand littered with the ossified remnants of ships beached onto th shore ..... and now made even more sinister by the shadowy presence of Namdeb mining for diamonds (or De Beers Namibia) .... the evil empire has its reaches even in the most untouched places ....

We left the coast and headed inland into Damaraland ... a sort of mixture of desert and huge great boulders ..... the road to which is spotted with the (unique to namibia) dinosaur of the plant world - Welwitschia mirabilis .... some of which are over 1500 years old .... and actually have only two leaves which get shredded with time .... and even more bizaarely have entirely separate male and female plants who somehow have to find each other through each other in the wilds ..... its no wonder they have to live so long ..... i feel their pain .....


The other event of the long long road trip to Damaraland .... was a spectacular ripped-to-shreds puncture in the midst of abosolutely nowhere .... with no one to help .... luckily the lovely Corey (whose one contribution on our pre-trip prep was supposed to be to learn car mechanics and puncture repair .... but who instead chose to do his NYC bar exams) ... showed unbeknownst alpha male skills ..... and demonstrated that a Y chromosome may well have some innate value .... by whipping out the jack and fixing his first flat in about 10 minutes .... i stood by and made ooh-aaah noises appropriately .....

We limped into our gorgeous lodge (Mowani for any of you that might venture that way one day) ... and were instantly appeased after a long hot dusty day ... built with unique domeshaped thatched roofs to disappear into the boulder-strewn landscape .... and home to one of the only two desert elephant populations in africa ... it was the sort of place that made you pinch yourself at how luck you are to see the wonders of africa .....

Sunset didn't disappoint either .... its was glorious in the way that only African sunsets can be .... lurid reds and indecent oranges in an incandescent sky ..... unlimited unending space on fire .... the beauty only slightly interrupted by the arrival of Ami from London (via Nairobi, Joburg and Windhoek) ... who had chartered a private plane to fly him up to the lodge (!!!) .... but who still managed to arrive without his luggage (and yes for those of you wondering .... he did spend the next 4 days in the same clothes .... and undies ..... THAT is how he rolls)

Once Ami arrived ... the alcohol consumption rocketed .... chat and banter flowed .... and all adult sightseeing stopped .... we giggled like school children at the 4000 year old rock paintings (think stick paintings by a 3 year old) .... and generally took the piss out of everything and anything .....

And so onto the final leg .... to the great Etosha national park .... a very unique park where instead of you chasing and tracking the animals .... the idea is to just sit by one of the many watering holes with your six pack and food .... and wait for the animals to come to you and drink (from the hole .... not the six pack) ..... all very circle-of-life-natural-rhythm ..... except we were tyically wholly unsuccessful at picking the good watering holes ..... and so whilst we did see loads of incredible plains game .... everyone else in the park saw big cats, hunts and gore galore .... and when we did a night drive - the only animal we saw - was a domestic cat ..... and our biggest piece of action was running out of the canteen without paying for dinner (and then ami getting caught for it the next day!!) ..... i rest my case about Ami's effect on the holiday ....



In short 8 days .... mountains, desert and coast .... three hub caps and two punctures .... game viewing, dune hiking and quad bikes .... Erdinger Weissbier and Jamison 12 years .... and dust in every crack, crevice and piece of clothing .... bloody brilliant .... Pedro, C-dub and Ami - thank you

Namibia Part 2 - Germans .... are Germans even when they're African

After our amazing balloon ride ... which on landing led seamlessly into gourmet breakfast amongst the vast spaces of the desert - we were feeling that life was pretty bloody good.... buoyed by champagne (opened in the pic by machete), fresh croissants and some very tasty zebra carpaccio (welcome to being bourgeois african style) .... we set off on the next 6 hour drive from Sossousvlei up to Swakopmund ... a town that sounds like something you might bring up after a long coughing fit .... and frankly as we were soon to find out - is pretty much as appealing .....

Several long hours later .... and minus one hub cap thanks to peter's speed stunts .... we limped into Swakop .... a small greasy and rather grey town on the coast of namibia ..... according to the hype - apparently THE summer activity resort and a town that has resolutely stuck to its German origins (founded back when Germany had an African colonial presence) ..... a bit like a small slice of Bavaria transplanted into the wilds ....

First stop - our B&B on the beach .... which was shaped like a boat .... clearly the German sense of humour hasn't been a trait that was selected out over the years .... not wanting to spend too much time on board - we then ventured out into the town to find the craic in this holiday town ....and were met instead by raher doleful streets .... and restaurants that if i walked in first would have no tables ... and yet if peter or corey walked in - suddenly vacancies would arise .... we all agreed - the place was cold and vile .... and even the very yummy wheat beer (Erdinger Wiessbier - wholehertedly recommend) that we used all night to lift our spirits didn't redeem the nastiness .....

The next day - we raced out of there as soon as we could ... and headed to nearby Walvis Bay ... made famous by the fact that Brangelina sat out their pregnancy and delivered here .... small coastal town surrounded by gossamer pillowy sand dunes and flocks of rather smelly flamingoes .... but apparently according to the guidebooks - a hub for all activity sports aiming to become the Victoria Falls of Namibia ... just without the waterfall ..... hmmmm ......

We soon found what we were looking forward .... three dune bikes .... one guy to lead us .... and a sequence of private dunes all to ourselves unadulterated by any other tourists ..... perfect for our ever-sociable corey ....

Now i'll admit ... at first it took some time to figure out how to change the gears on the damn bike .... and i'll admit that i got stuck multiple times in the sand whilst the chaps zoomed around and over dunes like ninjas .... but once i got the hang of it .... we were speeding around like giddy schoolgirls .... and then .... we came to the Big Dunes with the Vertical Drops .... and i started remembering all the promises i'd made to my mum to not do anything dangerous when in africa (!) .... and all the patients i'd seen with broken limbs .... but there was nowhere to go but down and with eyes half closed and too scared even to scream ..... i followed the guys down (who later admitted they'd also been scared witless and had assumed i'd never make it .... clearly my fearless reputation is only in my head) .....

It was an awesome experience - and we put Peter on a plane back to CT at Walvis Bay - all our boy-racer fantasies happily realised ..... we only needed to speed away as fast as possible from the Afro-Germans ... and onwards .....

Namibia Part 1 - The Big Empty ....

When my mate Corey first made tentative enquiries about travelling around Africa this summer ... i sent him a 6 week plan that would have rivalled Livingstone's adventures .... but rather selfishly made sure I included all the bits that I wanted to travel to as well ..... and rather fortuitously - on the basis of his law firm advance - he decided to take my word for it ... and embarked upon his own re-colonisation of africa journey ....

I decided to join him for the middle bit .... and in typical fashion managed to convince a few others that it would be in their very best interests to come along with us .... Peter from cape town for the first four days (all part of my very cunning plan btw ... on which more later .... but lets just say i'm the new cupid) ... and then Ami all the way from london for the second four days .... frankly anything and anyone so that corey didn't tire of my company and fling me out into the desert ....

Our schedule was hectic (see blue line on the map) .... 8 days to traverse huge distances that most people do over at least two weeks .... on a tight-ish budget ... and in a two-wheel drive against all advice to only use a proper 4-wheel drive (our budget and my abhorrence of SUVs precluding us getting anything more substantial than a small VW polo) .... speaking of the two wheel care hire - amazingly when we arrived in windhoek to pick up our car that we'd booked with the super-dooper all inclusive uber coverage .... they then asked us if we wanted to purchase the additional wheel, window and hub-cap insurance ... apparently in namibia - these bits aren't recognised as actually part of the car ... and so need to be covered separately (what a scam! we thought) .... however - for any of you thinking of doing this trip - after our two punctures, four hub-cap losses, countless window chips and under-carriage GBH (caused by Corey - not me!) .... buying the extra insurance was probably the best decision of the whole trip .... so just a bit of advice ....

So firstly the common bits ... namibia is HUGE ... and very dusty (natch - being one big lump of desert) .... and the roads are a pile of pants - being either sand, gravel or the worst - made up of small and very sharp rocks that embed in your tire and then rip it to shreds .... the boys taught me that driving when your car is out of control is FUN .... but that when faced with a daily drive of 6 hours for 8 days - you need more than one ipod ....

Our adventures started in Soussousvlei - the classic Namibian landscape .... gorgeous flame-coloured dunes .... smoky Namib-Naukluft mountains in the hazy background ... but instead of the desolation and loneliness we were seeking - we found queues to climb the dunes (prompting Corey "I want my own private dune ... I'm not sharing") .... and foreign tourists galore ....

However nothing could take away from the magic of the desert and especially the incredible "other-ness" Dead Vlei - or Dead Lake .... apparently the site of a lake many hundreds of years ago where the trees although also dead are preserved because of the total lack of moisture in the air (not helped however by the water bottles we found stuffed in one of the tree trunks by some idiot git tourist ... ) ..... making it almost a place of total Un-Life .... surrounding by monster towering dunes protecting it from any chance of growing things invading and restoring nature ....



That evening - we took some ATV quad bikes though the more mountainous bits .... which contrary to what the boys will say - i was fast at .... but just not as carelessly speedy as them ... and watched one of many great African sunsets (I'm not sure what it is - but nowhere does the sun set as spectacularly as in Africa) .....

But the other highlight of being in Sossousvlei was an amazing hot-air balloon ride at dawn .... watching the sun rise over the dunes - just indescribably breathtakingly joyously beautiful .... deserving of some lyricism that i'm certainly not capable of - the sort of scenes you just gasp at .... and want to hold in your mind forever .....

Freshly Grown ....

About 4 months ago - I posted about an amazing a group of women who supported HIV infected neighbours in their squatter camp .... and to whom i had given the last few rand in my pocket to in order to help them with their small garden .....

To be honest .... of late - my idealism about giving money away has been beaten down by some hard-gained hard-nosed scepticism .... after two years in this country - i assumed that the cash would have probably been used to buy more than a few rounds of drinks down at the local shebeen ... and if not several bags of tik to smoke ... frankly anything to make the poverty and misery less overwhelming ....

And so when Pauline, one of the women involved in the project, gave me a call last weekend muttering that something was a problem and that i needed to come to the camp urgently ... my heart sank .... by chance i was in the area .... and so reluctantly i agreed ..... i hid most of my cash away, backed up my computer, left my valuables at home (this is after all south africa) .... and journeyed nervously out into the informal settlement .... expecting the very worst ....

Instead .... I was met with much giggling from the assembled women - pleased that they'd set me up .... and after the prerequisite singing - they proudly led me to their neat happy rows of green .... nicely fenced off .... interspersed with watering bins and garden tools ....

The women's group had taken their little garden and turned it into a mini-vegetable farm .... and more importantly they were turning in quite the profit for their support group members ..... they had just wanted to show just how well and how much they'd done on the paltry 500 rand ....

I was ecstatic for them ... and rather ashamed for me ..... clearly you can spend too long in a place and start to become far too cynical ....

They wouldn't take any more money (more to salve my conscience really) .... and they wouldn't take no for an answer - and so I left with my arms piled high with cabbages, sugar beet and spinach .... and with my loot - i made the best veggie curry ever .... there's clearly nothing like the taste of goodness ....